The Nexis Secret Read online

  “How’d you do that?” I squinted to read her expression in the darkness. An unmistakable hint of pride washed over her face.

  “Used to do it all the time before we moved up in the world.” She folded the bobby pin and stuck it back in her hair. “It’s a good skill to have.”

  “Yeah, if you want to go to juvie,” Mindy whispered in my ear.

  I sucked in a breath, just like everyone else.

  Shanda yanked the girl in by her shirt, her jaw jutting out. “You don’t know what I’ve had to do to get by. So don’t lecture me on the ghetto, and I won’t lecture you on what it’s like to be a Barbie. Got it?”

  “Got it, sorry.” Mindy’s arms flew up in surrender until Shanda released her collar.

  The rest of the group marched into the library, Mindy rushing to catch up. But my feet refused to budge. If I stepped across that threshold, there was no turning back. I’d be breaking the law, even if it was only a prank.

  “C’mon, girl.” Shanda tugged on my arm. “I’m not doing this without you.”

  If I could somehow get through this, Will would tell me everything I wanted to know about James. Or at least more than I already knew, right? I gritted my teeth and let her drag me into the dark library. One of my favorite places for solace. Now a misguided gang of teens disturbed its peace.

  A loud beep hammered my ears, echoing up every aisle.

  “Great, you set off the alarm.” Shanda pointed at my feet. Sure enough, a red laser dotted the ankle of my black pants.

  In a mad dash, the group herded back toward the front door. Someone called out in the crowd, “Wait.”

  Two dozen feet halted.

  An Asian guy pushed past me and typed some buttons on the keypad. Suddenly the beeping stopped, and we all just stared at him.

  “What?” He shrugged. “I work here.”

  “Might’ve mentioned that sooner.” Shanda punched his arm, her face scrunched up like an anxious schoolgirl for the first time tonight. “Now we have to do this before security gets here.”

  “Sorry.” He bolted the door. “Maybe that’ll hold ‘em off for awhile.”

  “Good job, Tim,” someone yelled out.

  “They’ll have a key.” Shanda rolled her eyes, but he just shook his head. “We’ve probably got ten minutes. Let’s get this over with.”

  My roommate of all people knew the exact ins and outs of breaking and entering. Why didn’t that surprise me?

  “Everyone fan out to different stacks.” Mindy waved her arms like a flight attendant as she scurried backward down the center aisle. “We’ve got to find this book, or we’re not getting in. It’s got to be pretty old.”

  “Didn’t know she wanted to get into Nexis that bad. Go Barbie.” Shanda hushed her usual cackle to a mere breath.

  “It’s probably in the rare book collection, over there.” Tim motioned to the back corner.

  “Show us.” I snatched Shanda’s arm, following him until we reached the glass doors of the back section, covered in shadows, of course.

  Did my parents break into the rare book room? Did they smash the glass into pieces, or try something else? Even worse, did they know I’d have to do this, too? There’s no way they’d encourage some random crime, not even a harmless prank like this, not my dad. Did they really want me to get into Nexis this bad?

  He pressed some buttons on the keypad lock, and the doors opened. No glass shattering tonight, probably why Nexis recruited this guy. Sadly enough, there really was no turning back, not now. I had to see this through if I had any prayer of not getting caught. I inched my way into the dark room.

  Pungent odors of old leather and aged parchment clung to the air. Every shelf was made of the same cedar wood as the chapel library. How were we going to get out of this one in ten minutes? More like eight now.

  Shanda motioned for me to case the back aisle. She and the other guy took the first two stacks.

  I tiptoed to the last row by myself, holding up my cell phone for light. It cast a bluish glow over the books. I ran my fingers across every spine, then something pricked my middle finger.

  “Ouch.” My finger throbbed its own little heartbeat as drops of blood hit the carpet. I pressed my thumb against the wound.

  “Where’d that come from?” With my left hand, I wrangled the book off its shelf. Caramel leather bound together the rough-edged parchment, an embossed seal in the center. I touched the metal lines raised in a symbol I could’ve sworn I’d seen before, an angry-eyebrowed jack-o-lantern with a mouthful of fangs. The metal burned my fingertips.

  Suddenly the room went completely black. And disappeared.

  Long grasses appeared on the horizon, rustling in the wind.

  Flaming torches popped up all around me.

  I stood in the middle of a circle, six cloaked figures in black surrounding me. Some men, some women, all with angry eyes that glared fireballs at me.

  James emerged next to me.

  I reached for his arm, but my hand went right through him like I wasn’t really there. Or he wasn’t. This was getting weird now. Flames cast tendrils of shadow on each face, clawing at James like an apparition.

  Cynical laughter rippled around the circle. “You’re crazy.”

  “You’ve been corrupted.” A screech cut across the sphere.

  “For your crimes, you are banished.” The hiss was right next to me.

  “Banished.” The word echoed five times, each figure nodding in agreement.

  James crumpled to the ground at his pronouncement. A choked scream escaped my throat, but only silence came out. Two guys grabbed him by the shoulders and hauled his wriggling body out of the ring of fire.

  “James!” My voice was mute. I reached out for him, but they’d already dragged him out of sight.

  Only four remained in the circle, plus invisible me. I strained to hear the whispers.

  “Overseas.”

  “Silence.”

  “Sister.”

  Then the field faded into utter blackness.

  A distant thud crashed around in the dark.

  Something smashed down on my foot, crushing my big toe. Suddenly I couldn’t feel it, like I’d gone numb, my whole body really.

  Darkness twisted into shades of gray.

  The dim shadows of the library returned.

  I bent over to pick up the book. The pages fluttered in front of me, as if they wanted me to read them.

  A young woman stared back at me from the yellowed parchment, with a far-off expression and a strange sort of halo behind her head. Her eyes were dark and shadowed, hollowed almost. She held a tray with bulging circles on it. Were they eyes? An odd feeling slithered inside my body, like I should know exactly what the picture meant. Only I had no clue.

  I slammed the book shut.

  “Did you find it?” Shanda peeked into the space I’d left in the bookshelf. “Is that it?”

  I nodded and opened my mouth, but nothing came out. Just like that vision of James, or was it a hallucination? My fingers flew to my temple, rubbing the scar under my hairline, but I couldn’t blame this on the accident any more.

  Finally my voice croaked. “Let’s get out of here, before I really lose it.”

  “There’s no time to go out the way we came. We’ll have to sneak out the back. C’mon.” She yanked me toward the end of the aisle. I blindly followed, my body still numb. The images of James, the field, the circle, snapped like camera flashes in my head. His tortured face, the flaming torches, their haunting eyes.

  Beside me Shanda raised her voice. “Guys, we got it. Follow us out the back.”

  We tumbled down the back steps and into the dewy grass. Under my arm the book radiated heat, as if those torches singed it somehow.

  I thrust the horrible book at Shanda. “Here, take it. I don’t care what he or that stupid group has to say about James. I’m out.”

  She tucked the book into her giant purse. “Who said what about your brother? Is something wrong?”

&nbs
p; “It’s nothing.” I sucked in a breath of cool night air, but my cheeks still burned. “I’m just tired. It’s been a long night.”

  “Are you sure you want out?” She squeezed my shoulder. “Look, don’t decide anything tonight. I think they’ll cut you some slack. You found the book, so they’ve gotta let you in.”

  I stared at my hands. “I don’t know what I want.”

  “Why don’t you sleep on it? I catch you back at the dorm, okay?” She waved and followed the rest of the troops to the edge of the woods.

  I watched her disappear into the night.

  Campus looked too much like that horrible field where James was dragged into the shadows. And I couldn’t do anything to stop it.

  Too many images collided in my head, of James, of Nexis, of my own sanity. If there was any shred of it left.

  * * *

  Sunday morning brightness floated over my face from the corner of my dorm window. I rubbed the grit from my eyes and rolled over, but sleep eluded me. It had eluded me all night, ever since my vision of James only hours ago. More like a walking nightmare. His face, contorted with fear, filled my waking thoughts. I prayed to God it wasn’t real, that it was all in my imagination.

  I pieced it together with the other strange things I’d seen and heard over the last month at Montrose—the odd chapel conversation, the blameless man in the spotlight, the weird visions from Hard Rock, then last night. I had no idea what was real any more. Maybe I should see the school counselor.

  In one fluid motion I peeled back the covers that clung to my body and swung my legs over the side of the bed. I pulled on jeans, then grabbed my soft navy hoodie in case the late-September morning held a chill. I slipped my feet into my canvas shoes and padded to the sink. The cool water soothed my warm cheeks but failed to wake me from my daze.

  Shanda slept soundlessly as I tiptoed out of the room and down the stairs to the lobby. The house looked so still and peaceful at this hour. At my touch, the front door creaked open, and I stepped into the cool air. Gray clouds covered the sky.

  Grateful for my hoodie, I zipped it up and went wherever my feet decided to go. Toward the student union. Would the counselor’s office be open this early? Probably not on Sunday.

  I pivoted off the path into the dew-drenched grass until I found the steps that led to the river bank. As I descended the uneven flagstones I slowed my pace.

  At a landing carved into the hillside, a white-washed pergola hung over a mosaic stone patio. A cement bench rested on the hillside’s wall, but my arms reached for one wide column of the pergola.

  The wind whipped my hair in front of my face. I hugged the column and faced the wind. My tangled hair flew behind me. How I wished the strange nightmare of last night would fly away, too.

  The river below me gurgled with life and freedom. James would have loved it. In an instant, hot tears sprang to my eyes.

  “James.” I whispered his name into the wind, but it made no difference. The tears streamed down my face until I tasted their salt. “Wherever you are, I hope you’re safe.”

  Something rustled behind me. I snapped my head around.

  Bryan shoved his hands into the pockets of his jeans. “Sorry, didn’t see you there.”

  “It’s okay.” I wiped my eyes on the sleeve of my hoodie, glad I hadn’t bothered with any makeup on my way out.

  He moved in front of me, his broad shoulders blocking some of the wind. “Are you okay?”

  Those images of James wouldn’t go away, the flaming circle, the cloaked figures. They haunted me still.

  “I don’t know.” I refused to meet his gaze. Instead, I ran my hand through my hair. Halfway down, it snagged on the tangles. “I don’t know what’s real any more.”

  “You look like you need to sit.” He eased onto the cement bench, and I moved next to him. “Do you remember our deal?”

  I nodded, tears clinging to my lashes. I couldn’t keep my voice from shaking. “I’m so confused.”

  “When I’m confused, I just go with my gut. What’s your gut telling you?” He wrestled his arms from his bomber jacket and bundled it around me.

  I wrapped it tighter, snuggling into the fleece. At least someone knew what I needed, even though I hadn’t noticed the cold until now. Maybe if he knew what happened last night or the night before he’d take it back. I swallowed and inhaled deep.

  “My head tells me to do what my family wants and go to the final initiation so I can get into Yale.” The images rushed back, and I closed my eyes to shut them out. But that only made them clearer. I lifted my face to the gray sky. “But my gut tells me there’s something I’m missing, something I’m not aware of yet. Maybe something my brother figured out before he disappeared, before they made him disappear. But that just sounds crazy when I think about it too much.”

  Those aqua eyes glowed against the steely sky. His Adam’s apple bobbed with an audible gulp. “I think you’re right about James. He was on to something—that much I know.”

  “You knew my brother?” I reached for his hand and he flinched like I’d shocked him. His fingers were hot under mine.

  I studied his face, strong cheekbones outlined by dark stubble, eyes darting back and forth. Not in a sinister way, more like he struggled to recall something.

  “Only through my sister.” His eyes stopped dead center, and his jaw dropped. He stared at my hand over his. “How could I have forgotten? It’s as clear as day right now. I was still in junior high, but I remember Abby’s story. About the Guardians taking someone in right before graduation, after Nexis ousted him. Apparently he was afraid of something. He stayed out of sight and wouldn’t go anywhere but class or the chapel. He was never alone, always with two of the Guardian’s biggest guys, like bodyguards. Right before graduation, he moved into the chapel and slept there. She said it was the weirdest thing. It had to be James.”

  Did that mean I wasn’t crazy? Maybe my visions were trying to tell me something. Maybe they were real.

  When I shivered, Bryan looped his arm around me, scooting me closer. “Can’t believe I remembered that all of sudden.”

  If this was true, then Will had lied to me when he told me about James. Why would he leave out something like this? He was a freshman then, but he still had to know more than he let on.

  That creeped me out even more. I nestled into Bryan’s side. “But why would James leave without a word to any of us?”

  “I don’t know,” he whispered into my hair. “But you said it yourself that your family wants you in that club. Maybe that’s why.”

  I shook my head. James knew me better than that. “But that didn’t include me. I couldn’t care less what club he belonged to.”

  He drew back to look at me. “I’m sorry. I’m not helping, am I?”

  My lips curved at the beautiful concern in his eyes. “I don’t know about that. Things didn’t make sense until you told me to listen to my heart. At least I don’t think I’m crazy any more. That’s a big improvement.”

  “Good to know I have some effect on you, even if it’s only keeping you sane.” A laugh rumbled from his chest. “I believe I said, go with your gut, not this mushy heart stuff.”

  I didn’t have the energy to laugh. Still, the burden of uncertainty over James lifted like a weight off of my heart. If this story was true, then my visions were true, too. I let my shoulders relax and my head sink onto Bryan’s firm shoulder. As he stroked my hair, I closed my eyes. I barely noticed the bright light I saw instead of darkness. It wrapped around me, filling me with peace as I drifted off.

  When I came to, strips of sunlight beamed between the wooden slats in the pergola’s ceiling. I sat up and rubbed at the knot in my neck. “How long was I out?”

  Bryan stretched his long arms to the sky. His fingertips skimmed the vines that hung from the wooden slats. “Less than an hour. You needed the rest.”

  I yawned, arching my back. “Probably because I didn’t sleep at all last night.” The images of James in his terror w
ere gone now, and a strong sense of peace surged through me.

  “Maybe I should walk you back to the dorm so you can get some rest.” He helped me up, putting his hand on the small of my back to steady me as we climbed the stairs. “Why couldn’t you sleep?”

  Even if he proved to be a good pillow, I couldn’t mention the strange vision, let alone what almost happened with Will the night before. “I think I was just worried about James.”

  “I’m sure he’s fine.” Bryan slowed his pace as we neared the girls’ dorm house. “If you want, maybe I can do ask my sister about it. Try to find out what happened to your brother.”

  “That would be great. You’d really do that for me?” It finally felt like someone understood my dilemma, at least a little bit. And to have another person take something off my plate of worries—priceless. Could such a gorgeous guy really have a good heart? That might be too hard to resist.

  “Anything for you.” He veered to a path that led to the back door of the dorm.

  “Do you mean that?” I gazed up at him until he nodded, but a question lingered in my mind. “Okay, here goes. I was wondering why you freaked out about my ring the other night.”

  “Oh, that.” He scratched his chin and wouldn’t meet my eyes. “It’s just an indicator of how important you are. The fact that Will knows it—that’s what made me mad.”

  “I see.” I nibbled the inner edge of my lip, willing him to clarify what that meant.

  “Don’t you worry about it, that’s my job.” His strong palms rubbed into my shoulders.

  At the door, he reached for my hand and pulled me closer. I ran my fingers across his five o’clock shadow, examining that soft expression in his eyes. It melted my insides. With a mind of their own, my toes arched until I stood inches from his face. I tugged on his t-shirt until his lips met mine. When I pulled back, his arm slid around my waist, bringing me in for another quick kiss. Then he dropped his arm and jerked back.

  “I’m sorry.” His voice cracked. “Didn’t mean to be presumptuous.”

  “Don’t be sorry. It was nice.” I grazed my fingertips across my lips.