Crossing Nexis Read online

  On my own numb balloon I floated above the crowd—the sad faces turning my way, the looks of pity hurled at me as if to say, “You should’ve seen this coming.” By now, word had certainly gone out about last weekend’s public break-up. Colleen and Monica had probably made sure of it.

  Fumbling, I picked up a tray. Shuffled into line. Maybe I should’ve seen this coming, but I didn’t. I never do.

  I should’ve learned by now, but I guess I hadn’t. That’s not my way. I hold back until I think it’s safe, then I throw myself in fully. Completely. Except this time I threw myself in front of a freight train. And now I’m lying on the cold, jagged gravel. Bloodied, beaten, half-dead, but still alive. Somehow.

  That’s when I saw his face. Those blue eyes cloudy and downcast, watching from a corner across the room. The bustle froze for an instant. My lungs clawed for air, but I couldn’t breathe.

  He looked almost as bruised and beat-up as I felt. He didn’t walk away unscathed, not like Jake had. No, this time my ex-boyfriend was on the other side of the tracks, lying right there in the gravel with me.

  Air came rushing back. I inhaled, breathing freely. I don’t know why that heart-breaking look on his face gave me an ounce of hope, why it eased my pain a smidge. But it did.

  Until he packed up his stuff and nodded at me, conceding the cafeteria.

  I couldn’t help it. I dipped my head, watched him walk out the door. The room suddenly felt colder.

  Shanda snapped her fingers in my face. “If you don’t put something on your plate, I’m gonna make you drink one of my protein shakes.”

  “Alright already.” I rolled my eyes at her, plunking my tray down at the sandwich station. I went through the motions. Made my usual turkey on rye. Followed Shanda across the room. Not feeling any of it. Until I sat down at her table, feeling like a fish out of water. All the officers of Nexis were staring at me like I’d grown gills.

  “Hey, gorgeous.” Will chomped down on his burger, like this was an everyday occurrence. Somehow, he managed to sear me with those platinum eyes.

  “Hey,” I mumbled. How would I ever get used to sitting with him and the Nexis crew if he always stared at me like that? I guess being stuck at a table with all the Nexis goons staring at me would help.

  “Good choice. Now eat.” Shanda pointed at my sandwich, glaring daggers at me.

  I gave her a half-hearted nod and shoved down a bite. It tasted like cardboard for all I knew. I fiddled with my phone, trying to discourage anyone from making small talk.

  “Still moping over what’s his name?” Colleen’s voice screeched like nails on a chalkboard.

  I rolled my eyes. If only I’d listened to my brother. James always told me I needed to practice my poker face, because I was an epic failure at hiding anything I felt. My poor little heart. Always tattooed on my sleeve.

  “Excuse me?” Shanda reared back and turned all her fury at the little Nexis minion.

  Will leaned across me, resting his elbows on the table to glare at Colleen. “Seeing as you were in the same boat only a year ago, I’d think you’d have more compassion.”

  “You’re not just gonna let her walk right into Nexis though? Are you?” Monica blurted out.

  Kevin elbowed her in the side. “Shut up.”

  Will straightened up and glanced around the table, eyes landing on me. “Well, I’m sure we can work out the same deal we worked out with Colleen. What was it, hon? Was it just a few Guardian secrets, or everything you’d ever dug up on them? If I remember, you had a file a mile thick. Like you were just waiting for them to throw you to the curb.”

  Colleen’s jaw dropped to her collarbone. Monica choked on her water.

  “I’m sure little Lucy here won’t have to stoop that far.” Will reached for me, patting my shoulder. “She is a legacy after all.”

  My heart stuttered. In a hot second, warmth rushed to my cheeks.

  “Hrmph.” Monica was the first to stand up. She reached for her bestie. “C’mon, Colleen. Let’s just go.”

  Colleen rose to her feet, lava spewing from her eyes as she followed her friend out the door.

  “Nice one, man.” Kevin shook his head, slinging his backpack over his shoulder. “Now my girl will be fuming, and I’ll get caught in the crossfire. Thanks.”

  “Sorry, man. But you know Colleen.” Will’s chin dipped, making him look slightly sheepish.

  “I know.” Kevin nodded my way. “Good to see you, Lucy. Hope you feel better soon.”

  “Thanks?” It was more of a question than a statement. After he walked out of the caf, I turned to Shanda. “What was that about?”

  “Beats me.” Shanda shrugged, glancing at her phone. “I’ve never understood that dude. He’s way better off with Monica.”

  “Oh, gotcha.” I let the realization sink in. “They definitely make more sense together.”

  “You’re going to have to keep better tabs on the Nexis dating scene if you’re going to join us.” Will turned that beautiful chin cleft on me.

  Fireflies sputtered from the depths of my stomach. “Who says I’m joining Nexis?”

  “Those girls apparently.” He picked up my backpack and handed it to me.

  I tried to smile at him, but my lips just twitched. All the fireflies had fizzled back into the Great Numbness. Shanda started packing up her things too, and I followed her and Will out to the quad.

  My head pounded, about ready to explode with all the possible ways I’d run into Bryan. Did I have to go to class? I shuddered at the thought.

  “You okay, gorgeous?” Will’s steps slowed.

  I shook my head. “I don’t think so.”

  When I turned to him, his face looked different in the light of day. At first I couldn’t place the anomaly. Then it dawned on me. A strange, almost-haloed light hovered around him, even on this gray afternoon. The light was mostly white, tinged with random streaks or flecks of silver. In fact, I hadn’t seen any shadows surrounding him in a long time. Just this strange gray light, that was now suddenly white. When had everything changed? Not to mention why?

  “You’re in no shape to go to class by yourself. C’mon. Let me walk you there.” He grabbed my hand and tugged me down the cobblestone path.

  “Okay, but why do we have to go so fast?” I struggled to keep up with him as he picked up the pace. I glanced back at Shanda, who stood twenty yards behind us giving me the I Told You So look.

  “Because,” Will huffed as we booked it up the stairs. “Maybe if I go fast enough you won’t let go of my hand.”

  “Ha!” The corners of my mouth tipped skyward as I let out the first real laugh in a week. Laughter felt good. So did his hand. But it shouldn’t feel good.

  I tried to wriggle my fingers free, but he only clung tighter.

  “Here you are, milady.” He even bowed slightly as he dropped me off at the door of my English class. “It’s good to see you smile.”

  “Thanks.” My cheeks flamed for the second time today. Ooo, this boy was good.

  Those Guardians had no clue what they were asking of me. I’d have to be careful not to fall into Will’s trap, and not the other way around.

  Chapter 14

  The afternoon skies were brightening their gray hues, a sure sign March was on its way. But as I sat in Mr. Harlixton’s class only two weeks after the dreaded breakup, I still felt bleak inside. Heavy. Beyond bearable.

  Brrriiinggg. The bell blared, jolting me back to the reality before me.

  While I’d been off in la-la land, thinking about two boys at once, Harlixton had scurried out of class with the rest of the students. He wouldn’t get away this time. I couldn’t control much right now, but I could control who my allies were. Or at least get some answers.

  I bounded up the lecture room stairs and into the hallway, skidding around the maze of marble till I found his tiny little office.

  Rap, rap, rap. I knocked three times.

  “Come in.”

  I creaked open the door, unveiling th
e usual clusterbomb of his office. Incessant questions swirled around me as I moved a pile of papers to clear off a seat.

  He didn’t say a word. Just sat there behind his desk, sipping his coffee. Staring at me with those beady little eyes and an expression that said, “You first.”

  If only I could dive into the dregs of his coffee mug, hide myself in the depths like a gnat caught in the blackness. But I was no mere gnat. If I wanted to be the Seer, I needed to figure out how to protect my gift—even in the ranks of the enemy. And I needed all the help I could get.

  So I swallowed back the fear. “I’m here because I need your help. I need to figure out where to go from here.”

  “I see.” He exhaled a sigh big enough to flutter all the loose papers within two feet. “And what exactly do you think I can help you with?”

  “I don’t know. You and the Guardians want me to go into an impossible situation. And I don’t know what to do.” I crossed my arms around my middle, curling in on myself. I had to figure this out.

  “That’s very true.” He tottered back in his chair, gears squeaking. “I can’t tell you how to live your life. That’s up to you. I can only tell you what I’d do in your situation. You need to protect your gift.”

  I nodded, my heart pounding. “That’s exactly what I want. I want to learn to protect my gift. Hide it if possible. So Nexis never finds out.”

  Whoosh, he sat forward with a start, leaning his elbows on the desk. “Don’t fool yourself. Nexis already knows about you. At least they think they do. Your only advantage right now is that they’re uncertain.”

  “What do you mean?” I asked, chewing on my lip.

  Staring down his glasses, he looked at me like I should already know this. “They’re waiting until you turn eighteen to see if you really are the Seer. They’ve got a little over a year before the clock runs out. It’s the only thing you can use against them.”

  Tick, tock. Tick, tock. I could almost hear it in my head. “How can I do that?”

  The edges of his mouth twisted. “You make them come to you. They’re the ones who need to win you over. So make them work for it.”

  “Mr. Harlixton. I’ve never heard you talk like that before.” A small smile crept up my face.

  “Nexis really gets under my skin.” He wriggled around as if to prove it.

  “Me too.” I eased back in my chair, my brain toying with Harlixton’s little idea. Maybe I could make them come to me and give me and Shanda all the intel we’d need to bury them.

  “I know, that’s why they think they have the advantage.” He paused. Lowered his voices, eyes darting to the door. “They think they can control you with their scare tactics. But you have to show them you’re in control. If they want you, they’ll have convince you by whatever means necessary.”

  Now my lips were curling up. “I like the thought of that. Maybe I could turn their bullying around. Somehow. But I’m not much of a bully.”

  “No, but you’re smart. And stubborn. You don’t have to be aggressive or demanding. Just stand firm, and make them come to you.”

  I narrowed my eyes at him, trying to crack the code. Did he mean everything he said to have a double meaning? Because I could use his pearls of wisdom on both Nexis and the Guardians. Food for thought.

  “Do you really think I can do it?” My voice sounded smaller than I wanted.

  “I do.” At last, his face broke into a genuine smile.

  “Thank you.” I breathed a sigh of relief, letting his belief in me sink into my heart. “It’s nice to know I have someone like you on my side.”

  “About that.” He cleared his throat, eyes darting around the room again. “This will have to be our last meeting for awhile. If you’re going to infiltrate the inner circle of Nexis, you can’t be seen hanging out with me.”

  “What?” My jaw dropped as every muscle in my body went taut. “Don’t tell me you’re going to pull the same crap Bryan did.”

  He cocked his head and shrugged. “It’s for your own safety.”

  “Don’t give me that!” I scraped back my chair and rose to my feet, anger boiling higher and higher every second. “You’re saying I have to ‘infiltrate the inner circle of Nexis’ all by myself. Without any backup?”

  “No, Lucy. That’s not what I’m saying.” Harlixton stood up too, his voice laced with soothing tones. “We just can’t been seen helping you, publicly. If you get into a real jam, you can always call on us for backup. But only as a last resort.”

  “I can’t believe this.” Curling tendrils of darkness crept along the corners of my vision. I closed my eyes, the vague blackness more comforting than seeing shadows.

  A ribbon of ice enveloped my wrist.

  I opened my eyes to a shadowy tendril circling my arm, holding it in place. The breath hitched in my throat.

  “Lucy, what is it? Are you seeing something?” His words floated above me, but they didn’t touch me.

  I couldn’t feel anything but cold. Ice. Frozen. My entire field of vision shrouded in growing shadows.

  “Look around you. Where is it coming from?”

  I glanced right, then tried to look left, but my neck wouldn’t budge. “I don’t know. I can’t move my head to see it. Like I’m paralyzed by the fear.”

  “That’s it. It’s the fear.” He stumbled around the desk, resting a hand on my right arm. “We have to work past the fear. We have to find a way to control it.”

  “How?” As soon as he called it fear, all the light collapsed around me—inking every source of light with a growing blackness. “It’s getting worse. What do I do?”

  “I’m not really sure. But we’ll figure it out.” The helplessly high pitch in his voice said it all.

  Here I thought Professor Harlixton held the key to all the secrets I’d ever need, and he was just waiting to unlock them when I was ready. But now I could see. He didn’t know how to do this anymore than I did. He was figuring it all out right alongside me.

  Everything clenched inside of me, until I couldn’t take it anymore. Please send me my angel. Only you can fight the darkness.

  A burst of angelfire sparked the shadow over his face. Wraiths of demons exploding into shrieking embers. They fizzled and died off. The light returned, a welcome relief that lapped at my toes. I smiled. Breathed the sweet, stale air again. Freedom at last.

  “Better?” His eyes studied me, this strange anomaly standing before him.

  “For now.” My shoulders deflated as my muscles relaxed. I wanted to fall into a heap on the floor, but I braced myself on the empty chair and stood tall. “What happens when I leave here and face Nexis on my own? I can’t control my visions. You see that, don’t you?”

  He paced to his bookshelf, touched a few spines, and pulled them out. “I think this is something you need to dig into so you can uncover the truth and how it applies to you. Because whether you believe it or not, you are improving as a Seer. Some things just can’t be controlled.”

  He thrust the hardback volumes at me. But I didn’t reach for them. I just stood there, staring at him.

  “Is this all you’ve got for me?” My question came out as annoyed as I felt inside.

  “I’m afraid so. For now.” He dumped the books in my arms, and returned to his chair. “Only you can figure out what to do next.”

  I narrowed my eyes at him, my hackles burning. “Then I guess this is goodbye.” I shot from my perch and made my way to the door. “If you’re not going to help me, I guess I’ll just figure this out on my own. And you might not be happy with the results.”

  Pausing in the doorway, I gave him one last glare over my shoulder. “I never asked for this.”

  But he just sat there, the corners of his mouth curling like a cat. Like my reaction was all part of the Guardian plan. Let him sit there and be smug. It didn’t mean I had to play into his hands. Or Nexis’. Or anybody’s.

  The fire welled up inside me, stinging my eyes, my throat. I swept down the hall, boots pounding on the marble,
until I reached the crowds of kids clustered up in the lobby.

  I skidded to an abrupt stop, picking my way through the crowd. I so didn’t need this right now. Gritting my teeth, I danced around the Nexis clique with Monica and Colleen sneering at me. As soon as Will glanced up, his gaze locked on mine. I wanted to melt into the floor. I had to get out of here. Fast.

  I skirted past my old friends, the Guardian crew. Laura, Brooke, Tony and Lenny all stared at me like they wanted to say something. But no one uttered a word. Bryan just gave me that pained look again, like I’d been the one to break his heart. Even though we both knew it was the opposite.

  I whipped around, making a beeline for the front door of Salinger, when someone stepped into my path.

  Felicia stood smack dab in front of me, swishing her auburn hair and lasering her green-eyed death rays at me. “I hope you’re happy. You threw me under the bus only to get thrown under yourself. How’s it feel, getting what you deserve?” Her new friends circled up behind her, probably the Watcher clique for all I knew.

  “You did not just say that to me.” My screech shattered the noise into silence.

  The chatter died down, and a hush fell over the crowded school hallway. Everyone stilled, stopped what they were doing—watching our every move.

  “I’m only telling the truth.” Felicia laughed a bitter, strangled whimper, her shoulders shaking.

  “According to you.” Hot bubbles simmered in my stomach, steaming to the surface.

  “You little brat.” Felicia snorted, her face flushing. “You ruined all of my plans, years of work. Empty promises, false secrets. It was all for nothing.”

  “Excuse me?” I took three steps toward her, and held up my burn-scarred wrist in her face. “Who tried to brand me like cattle? Oh yeah, you and your father! So stop blaming me for your choices.”

  I stood there, shaking with rage. Still holding up my wrist so she wouldn’t forget what happened last semester in that church.

  “Puh-lease,” she scoffed, scooting backward. Closer to her friend for safety. Good call. “I wasn’t at that church in Harlem and you know it.”