Crossing Nexis Read online

  Chad grabbed my hand and squeezed. Hard. “I was really worried about you. Don’t scare me like that again. Ever.” That last word dribbled out as if he didn’t even know he said it.

  “I’m fine, Chad. Really I am.” I zeroed in on his soft brown eyes, filled with something I hadn’t seen before. I gripped his hand like a lifeline, pulling us both out of the Bermuda triangle of what-ifs. “I’ve even been learning to fight while I was gone.”

  “No kidding?” His face lit up like Times Square. “So what? Are you Cat Woman now, ready to show Indianapolis no mercy?”

  “As if I could ever pull off an Anne Hathaway or Halle Barry.” We both busted out laughing. It felt good to laugh with him.

  “I wouldn’t mind seeing you in that costume, though. Come on, dance with me. I wanna see your new moves.” He tugged on my arm, in that playful way of his.

  “If you insist.” I let him pull me back into the living room. It was starting to feel like old times already.

  I threw my head back and let Chad spin me around the other dancers, waving at Paige as we danced by. His mom came up just as the fast song turned into a slow dance.

  “Lucy, good to see you.” She broke us apart for a side hug, then turned to her son. “We’ve got a few uninvited guests that I need you to deal with.”

  “Moochers.” Chad rolled his eyes, spinning me around one last time. “I’ll be right back. Don’t you move.” He waved and trailed his mom to the front door.

  “Right, like I’m gonna slow dance with myself.” I wound my way in and out of the swaying couples, toward the kitchen in search of hydration.

  Then I saw him. And I stopped at the edge of the dance floor. The music, the room faded away until I could see was that familiar chiseled face in the doorway. Angry swaths of red tinged my vision. Searing his outline into my brain.

  The temperature in the room dropped ten degrees before I saw the shadows slither in with him. My heart froze, then pumped out a new a beat. That sandy hair. Those steely gray eyes.

  Will’s mouth hung open as he stared back at me. With slow, deliberate steps, he trudged across the room.

  “My God, Lucy,” he breathed. “You look amazing. Beyond amazing. I’m so glad you’re okay.”

  “What are you doing here?” I couldn’t move, couldn’t breathe. Caught in his hypnotic stare, as usual.

  He edged closer. “I had to see you. To make sure you were okay after that night …”

  And suddenly, with just those words, the darkness in the shadow’s tendrils faded. Singed away by a silvery-gray light. Was this what remorse looked like?

  His jaw twitched, eyes darting around the circle of Alton High onlookers. “Can’t we talk somewhere else?”

  “Will, don’t.” I flexed my fingers, if only to stop my hands from trembling. “I don’t know what you think you’re doing, showing up here, but you need to leave.”

  “Hey, pal.” Chad suddenly appeared at my side, glaring daggers at Will. “You heard my girl. Time to go.”

  “Lucy, please. I can explain. I promise.” All of the lingering shadows backed away from him, as if they didn’t want to hear his explanation, either.

  I blinked, but the rays of light around Will only grew that much brighter. Maybe I should listen to them. “It’s okay, Chad. I’ll hear him out and then he’ll be out of here in no time.”

  “You sure?” Chad’s eyes widened at me, hands on his hips.

  “I’m sure.” I reached for his hand and squeezed.

  “Okay, but I’ll be right over here the whole time.” Chad squeezed my hand and headed for the edge of the dance floor.

  As soon as he left, soft fingers wrapped around my wrist, tugging me into the dim kitchen. My insides jolted at Will’s touch. I let him lead me into the breakfast nook.

  “I’m good in kitchens.” Will’s breath was hot on my neck. “We’re good in kitchens, remember?”

  I reached for a water bottle. Trying like crazy not to think about the last time he cornered me in a kitchen. And we almost kissed.

  “Why did you come here, really?” I chugged down a big gulp.

  “I was sitting in the airport, on layover from Chicago. And I couldn’t get you out of my mind.” He ran a hand over his stubbled jaw, looking more rugged than disheveled. “So I hunted down your mom’s number and badgered her until she told me where you were.”

  “Of course.” I rolled my eyes. “Why Chicago?”

  “It’s where my dad lives now. My parents are separated.” His hand still encircled my wrist.

  “Oh.” I didn’t know what to say to that. So, like an idiot, I just stared at him.

  “I’ve been in agony here.” With strong fingers, he drew me closer. “Why wouldn’t you take my calls? Do you really hate me that much?”

  “I don’t hate you.” The words came out fast. Too fast. “It’s been hard, that’s all.” I hated that my voice cracked. I sucked in my wobbling lip.

  “Are you okay, Lucy? Please tell me you’re okay.” Suddenly his hands were on my shoulders, running up and down my bare arms. Making me shiver even though I wasn’t cold. “Will you tell me what happened?”

  “What? I can’t.” I tried to push the horrible memories out of my mind, but tears still beat at my eyelids.

  “Please. I have to know what happened. I haven’t been able to sleep. Not knowing how you’re doing. If you’re okay. It’s been killing me.” Black circles ringed his eyes, betraying a hollowness I hadn’t noticed. Until now.

  I turned away from him to stare out the sliding glass door, into the dark night. And it all came back. How Jake found me in the quad, pinned me against a tree. But the angel split that tree in two. How much could I tell Will, without divulging all my secrets?

  “He cornered me, but I got away. Then I tripped. Scraped my cheek pretty good.” I touched my fingers to my cheekbone, remembering how they’d come back bloody. “He caught up. Dislocated my shoulder.”

  Will winced out loud.

  “He was going to take me somewhere. Who knows where? Then Bryan showed up, the campus police not far behind him. And that was that.” But we both knew it was so much more.

  “I hate that you had to go through that.” Before I knew it, he whirled me around and wrapped me up in his arms, cradling my head with one hand. “I wish I’d been there for you.”

  I couldn’t let this go on any more. Pulling back, I narrowed my eyes at him. “You disappeared, remember?”

  His face crumpled.

  “What happened to you? I didn’t know what to think.”

  “You don’t think I had anything to do with this, do you?” Those gray eyes seared into me, stealing my breath away. Melting my knees to jelly.

  Even so, I met his stare. “Actually, I was just starting to think you planned the whole thing.”

  “No,” he breathed. He slumped forward, shoulders sagging. He reached for me like he couldn’t stand on his own. “Lucy, you’re too important to me. I would never do something to hurt you like that. Not ever.”

  I backed away from his grasp. “Then tell me the truth. Was Nexis involved somehow?”

  “Probably.” His gaze dropped to his dress shoes. “But it must’ve come from higher up. After the first time Jake showed up, I gave the council an earful. Like they’d give a—”

  “Hold up. Who told you about Jake at the Hard Rock?” I asked. “I bet it was Kevin, wasn’t it?”

  He nodded. “Apparently my position doesn’t count for jack squat anymore. I’m just a puppet now, until I graduate.”

  “Why would they sic Jake on me like that, twice?” I inhaled too fast, choking on my own fumes. “Did they tell him to attack me and try to kidnap me?”

  Stepping closer, his eyes went wide. “I don’t know what they’re thinking anymore. My mom’s gone rogue. Otherwise Jake wouldn’t have laid a finger on me. Guess he didn’t like me interrupting his plans. I doubt they wanted to hurt you, either. That was all Jake.”

  “He beat you up, too?” I couldn’
t look at Will any more. It didn’t matter who he was, I wouldn’t wish that on anyone. For any reason. I dug my fingernails into my hips. As if I could claw the clutches of Nexis from my life. Forever.

  “Don’t worry about me. I can take it. Just listen. There’s something I need you to know.” His hands slid around my waist as he closed in.

  “What?” And just like that, he had me under his spell again. My heart cracked at the thought of someone else going through the same torment I’d survived. I guess we did have something in common after all.

  “If anyone else comes after you again, I will protect you. Whether you want me to or not.” His steely eyes softened as they drank me in, sending sparks of firefly tingles shooting to my toes. “You mean too much to me.”

  “Really?” It came out as a breath.

  “If I told you how much, it’d only scare you.” Those gunmetal eyes pleaded with me, haunted as the shadows that morphed and changed around him—black dissolving into gray. Fading into almost white. Then twisting back to gray again.

  Just then, Chad burst into the kitchen. Breaking us apart.

  “Thank God,” I murmured, putting some much-needed space between me and Will.

  “You done yet?” Chad asked. “It’s been fifteen minutes. About time for you to go, don’t you think?”

  “I said my piece. Now I’ll be on my way.” Will backed up, eyes lingering on me. “Will you pick up the next time I call?”

  “I don’t know. Maybe.” My lips twitched. Little traitors.

  “Good enough for me. Happy New Year.” The tiniest smile curled up the corners of his lips, sparking a flash of silver in his eyes.

  “You, too.” I watched him go, entranced by the shadows trailing after him—shifting and swirling with ever-lightening shades of gray.

  “Thanks, Chad.” I hugged his side. “You’re a lifesaver.”

  “C’mon let’s go back to the party.” Chad twirled me back onto the dance floor. As the music faded and the countdown began, I lost focus. The room, the faces all blurred together.

  What just happened?

  Could Will Stanton, Nexis president, really change his whole outlook on life? Even become one of the good guys? I just saw it with my own eyes, the strange mixture of light warring against shadow. I wanted to write him off, out of my life forever. But every time I tried, he forced his way back in.

  I had Bryan and the Guardians. I didn’t need Will creeping his way back into my thoughts. Confusing me with his hypnotic charm. Making me wonder if I should even go back to Montrose.

  My cheeks burned just remembering how helpless I’d been against his charisma. Shame crawled over me, a suffocating blanket. Couldn’t anything ever be simply black and white? There was nothing fair about this. Only torture.

  Chapter 9

  Clackety-clack went my suitcase, rolling behind me on the cobblestone path to Nelson Hall. Dusk darkened the sky as I inhaled the Montrose air. Needles of January chill stung my nose as I picked up the pace. This place still gave me the chills at night. Racing down the path, I flung open the door to my dorm lobby. I breathed a sigh of release. My heartrate slowed. My dorm looked exactly the same. Girls clustered in groups, chatting and burying their faces in their phones.

  Clunk, clunk, clunk. I rolled Pinky the suitcase through the lobby and up the stairs to the second floor. Tonight, most of the doors were closed. Including my room, 210.

  A giggle leaked into the hallway. I cocked my head. Listened. Then I heard it again. Coming from my room. No mistaking that sound. Shanda was talking to a boy.

  “Busted,” I shouted, bursting into the room. “You better not be talking to that loser, Kevin, again.”

  “Of course not.” Her smile turned into a sneer. “I gotta go. I’ll call you back.”

  Dropping my bag on the floor I stomped over to her bed. “Who is it then? Do I know him?”

  “It’s not a guy.” She gave me her patented eye roll.

  “Yeah, right.” I scoffed, rolling Pinky to my closet. “Since when do you giggle?”

  She rose to her feet, sliding her phone under her pillow. “On occasion.”

  “Okay.” I took a few steps closer. “Then why are you hiding your phone?”

  In two seconds flat she yanked her phone from its hiding spot and slid it into her back pocket. “It’s none of your business. Just drop it, okay?”

  “No. You’re keeping something from me.” My freshly buoyed up hope sank down to the depths of my stomach. I didn’t like her keeping secrets from me, any more than I liked keeping secrets myself. “Why won’t you just tell me what’s going on?”

  She stepped back as if I’d stung her.

  Her face twisted. “For someone who’s supposed to see everything, you sure do miss a lot. Why don’t you tell me what’s going on?” Now her hands were on her hips.

  “Excuse me?” My voice cracked as I choked on my own saliva. Did she know about New Year’s Eve? How could she know I might be the Seer, unless… “How do you know that?”

  Her tough mask cracked in a look of shock, like she’d just realized her slip-up.

  Time to play a little game. Closing my eyes, I inhaled a deep breath and tossed a quick prayer up for my angel to come down and help me out. Just give me a little hint. A blast of warm air hit me in the face, then vanished. That’d do.

  Shanda opened her mouth, closed it. Then opened it again. “Okay, Sherlock, you deserve to know the truth.” She plopped on the edge of her bed and motioned for me to sit down. “Lucy, I have something to tell you. Something the Guardians asked me not to tell you, but I think you deserve to know. Only because it might make this better for you.”

  “What do you mean ‘the Guardians’?” I just stared at her. I don’t know why I asked such a stupid question, because I knew exactly who she meant.

  “I found out something over Christmas break. Something about why my mom left us.” Her voice cracked. Her voice never cracked. This was serious.

  “You never talk about your mom. I had no idea she left you. I’m so sorry, Shanda.” I put my hand on her shoulder, my heart breaking for the tough girl beside me.

  She gripped the bedframe, knuckles ashen. “It gets worse. My dad found out I joined Nexis. He finally told me why Mom left. She wasn’t just a bad mother. She was a high-ranking Nexis official. She kept getting arrested, but Nexis always bailed her out. Eventually she did something that threatened our family.”

  “What did she do?” I gasped, reaching for her hand.

  “I don’t know.” Shanda shook her head, squeezing my hand hard. “I don’t think Dad does either. It was something big enough to put us all in danger. We had to move out of our old neighborhood, somewhere safer with a secure entrance and a doorman. That’s when Dad made her choose. Us or Nexis. Obviously, she chose Nexis.”

  “That’s so crazy.” I didn’t know what else to say. I could only sit and stare at her.

  “I guess that’s why Dad put me in boarding school when he had to travel more for work.” She grabbed a Kleenex and rubbed her eyes. “I always thought it was overkill. But now I know the truth. He was just trying to protect me.”

  “You’re kidding?” I watched her stare off into space. Something didn’t click, though. “What does that have to do with the Guardians?”

  “I was so furious that I wanted to quit Nexis.” She turned away, her jaw clenching. “So I went to the Guardians. Offered up all my secrets.”

  I inhaled a low whistle. “You didn’t.”

  She mashed her lips together. “I did. I just couldn’t take it anymore. I was going crazy.”

  “So? What’d they say?” I leaned in.

  She paused, then turned my way and stared me down. “They convinced me to turn spy. For the Guardians.”

  “No way.” My jaw fell open. Silence resonated in the room as if she’d dropped a bomb that ripped all sound from the world.

  Her eyes glittered. “What choice did I have? Nexis was just going to use me to get to you. Now I at leas
t have a say in it.”

  “There’s more, isn’t there?” I whispered.

  She wiped her eyes and nodded. “Tony convinced me that it’s the only way. I might get something good enough to make them leave me alone.”

  “Wait, so you are dating Tony Delgotto?” My heart leapt for joy. “When did this happen?”

  “New Year’s.” Her eyes lifted back to their normal happy-almond shape. “He’s been my liaison for the Guardians, and then it just turned into …”

  “More?” I curled my mouth at the look on her face.

  “Exactly.” Her mouth pursed in a Mona-Lisa-like grin.

  Maybe it was time to spill my secrets, too. “You aren’t the only one who had an interesting New Year’s.”

  “Oh, really?” Her grin broadened as she leaned in closer. “Now who’s holding out?”

  “Okay,” I whispered, inching closer, too. “Will showed up at my friend’s New Year’s Eve party.”

  “Say what?” she screeched. “In Indiana?”

  “Keep it down,” I hissed, darting across the room and turning on the fan.

  “Like for real?” She whisper-screamed behind her hand. “What’d he want?”

  I shrugged. “Apparently he was worried about me.”

  “Really? That’s crazy.” More screeching.

  “Get this.” Leaning in, I lowered my voice. “He said that Jake beat him up that night, too. Left him in the woods. That’s why I couldn’t find him.”

  Shanda nodded slowly, her eyes glazing over. “You know, come to think of it, he did have a cut over his eye the next time I saw him at Nexis, a few days after the fight. He looked pretty shaken up. I assumed it was because of what happened to you.”

  My heart ached for him—and for me. “He said something to that effect at the party. He wanted to make sure I was okay, because I wasn’t taking his phone calls.”

  “Obviously.” She rolled her eyes again. “You have to admit, that boy is really into you.”

  “I keep trying to forget it, but he keeps reminding me.” I huffed out an exasperated sigh, trying to push that tousled sandy hair and those steely gray eyes out of my mind. “We’re in a mess, aren’t we? What’re we gonna do?”